2/7/11----------Controlled Chaos

Controlled Chaos.

What a contradiction in terms. Controlled Chaos. Controlled: to have direction over. Chaos: disorder. So, how can one have direction (control) over disorder? Is it truly possible? I can't prove it, but I feel as though I am living it.

I have a wonderful husband, who pretty much does everything I ask him to do. 

I have a teenage son, who pretty much does nothing I ask him to do.

I have a 3 week old daughter for whom I do everything she needs me to do.

My house is a chaotic mess, but it isn't dirty. The dishes are done. The laundry is being washed as I'm writing this. I even have dinner (meatloaf) in the oven. My daughter's stuff is everywhere! How can someone so small create such a huge mess?? There's a stack of blankets on one end of the hope chest, a gift bag from an Aunt on the other end. Her swing sits near the wood burning stove, her play mat is in front of the entertainment center, a boppy pillow is under the dining table, 2 dolls and another stack of blankets sit on top of the dining room table, and there's a baby around here somewhere!! (j/k...she's in her swing)

I can't believe it's been three weeks since my angel girl was born. After delivering her on the 18th, we checked out of the hospital the next day. I just couldn't lay around being bored with my poor husband laying on a "window bed" and my son staying at a friend's house, when I could lay around my own house where all of us would be comfortable. Just three days later, my daughter was in an ambulance heading an hour and a half south to spend 48 hours in the NICU. 

The day after she is discharged from the NICU, we get a call from her doctor and are told to head to the nearest children's hospital for another stay and more tests. Seems she has tested positive for an infection. She's 6 days old at this point. What kind of infection could she possibly have??? More tests are conducted and guess what? It's not an infection after all, the first test or sample was compromised. There is nothing wrong with my little girl and we can now go home. Total time in a hospital following her birth: 6 days and she was only 9 days old. 

My little girl is perfect now. No health problems at all. She is growing, gaining weight, alert, active, and HUNGRY. She is hungry all the time. As a breast feeding mom, it's impossible to meet all her dietary needs after her spending so much time in the hospital. She was supplemented with formula. Now it's all I can do to provide 2/3 of what she needs. I think she "comfort sucks" more than anything. Even when I pump, I get only a few drops. Tonight my mom suggested I drink a bottle or two of water every time I nurse Yesterday, I read that to help increase my milk supply, I should nurse her more often and supplement her via a syringe of formula squirted into her mouth while she is nursing. 

So what do I do? I did the syringe squirting yesterday and the water tonight. Tomorrow, I'll do both. Hopefully I can get my supply up before I have to go back to work.

Time to get some sleep. Sleep when she sleeps. That's what they tell me. Good night.